Someone shit on the floor
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize