If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize