let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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