I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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