yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
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I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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