Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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