Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize