i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
4 words: hood of his car
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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