his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
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In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize