Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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