What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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