you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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