Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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