here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize