I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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