I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize