I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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