I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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