Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize