I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize