I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
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Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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