dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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