Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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