I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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