This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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