i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
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