Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
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I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
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You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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