Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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