you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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