Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
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ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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