i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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