I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
how drunk are you?
Several
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize