Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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