p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize