Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize