Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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