my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize