I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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