Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
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I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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