I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
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I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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