we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
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This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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