maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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