3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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