And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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