She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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