So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
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Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
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Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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