Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
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My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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