I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize