I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize