guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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